When people stop talking is when they need help the most.
“Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.”
― Mineko Iwasaki
I wonder why do people leave. When you said “Come what may, I will always stay” unfortunately I had firmly believed that you will always find your way. Look at the plight of the situation you abandoned me when I needed you the most. Your words still echo in my ears, leaving me in tears. I have spent sleepless nights finding reasons for your absence because there were no fights. I had always believed that you were different from the world but you proved to me that the world was correct when it said “You need to be your own hero”. Cried inconsolably when you said you don’t want to talk any more, spent days and nights figuring out the reason for this behaviour in any way. It has been more than a month now and I still don’t have any answer. At least return with a reason to provide me with solace this season.
You know, now I understand why do they say: “There’s a message in people’s behaviour”. I was so staunch to believe that you were different that their words feel on my deaf ears. But from now on I will be more cognizant of course and will be the torch bearer of the entire course. Indeed there is a message if we are ready to hear! Even you had turned ignorant and had hurled abuses. I had started feeling ignored and unwanted but I believed that my love would be enough and my patience would be sufficient for us. This had continued for months, you had started ignoring and started blaming it on me. The last time you had shouted at me and hung the phone in rage, that day tears soaked the page. You have made me so fragile that even my loneliness is not agile. My mind reconnects everything to you, that swing you remember? That coffee shop? and What about those meetups?
Don’t you feel the same tinge? You know that I had been praying for your success for long, now those years have passed and you have achieved your wants. You have left me in a position where I can never ever believe in loyalty, love and laughter. Forget everything I have stopped believing in the word after. This phase is difficult, I got to know my place when I saw your new face otherwise I was in a race. A race that was too happy and sappy. I had thought that you will always pick me but you were the one who kicked me. Now I understand, the dove of the love had long gone.
May be even this pain has a reason, may be one fine day I will actually wake up to be fine. May be one day again!!! Even today I pray for your health, happiness and success. May you achieve everything you want but I humbly request you never to repeat this with any other human being. It takes nothing to be true to someone’s feeling. I have stopped trusting people like I used to, in fact I have stopped sharing my thoughts with anyone. This isn’t because I lack people instead I lack one single person. You have made me realise what actually habit is and I admit you are my worst habit.
Anyone who is reading this, never do this to anyone. Once people are left for no reason, they cry, find faults in themselves, loose self confidence and feel pathetic. This shouldn’t be done to any human!! You should not get yourself involved with a person if you wish to leave them anyway. Be a little more kind and compassionate before abandoning people.
With love, <3
“I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting. And it hurts, in every part of my body.”― Veronica Roth