I remember this 53 year old women with her eyes filled with tears talking to me recalling her past memories. She and I share a very genuine bond and I feel she shouldn’t have been treated that way. She was talking about her painful days of menopause, how she was made to do all the household work even during the most sensitive phase of her life. Menopause is a unique experience for each woman. Some are hardly affected while others have debilitating symptoms.

Hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, memory lapses, depression and anxiety may start in the brain of a woman undergoing menopause. Going through menopause can be harder to some women. Women may have heavier bleeding and more frequent periods during menopause which can lead to anemia. There are others symptoms of menopause like mood changes, fatigue, stress, tiredness, vaginal dryness and itching. In addition to the physical symptoms of menopause, many women also experience mental and emotional ones. During the transition to menopause, levels of hormone estrogen drop, causing wide ranging changes throughout body.

The women about whom I was talking said “She had been bleeding for the past eleven days, she wanted to see a doctor but her husband did not pay any heed to her. She was 47 then and her son used to work in a different city. There was no one who could help her because her husband thought it was very normal for a woman to bleed. She added that she was very sensitive to everything happening around her at that time. She used to cry a lot during those days because she could not believe that she had such an apathetic husband. One day her husband even shouted at her when he found her crying. He said “I have kept you so well, when you couldn’t find any other reason to cry, you are crying over such petty issues.”

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On the twelfth day she had a black out, then only she was taken to a doctor and the doctor prescribed her complete bed rest,some iron tablets along with some other health supplements. She says that phase passed but the associated pain still remains. She felt ‘used’ by her husband, she said he had devoted her entire life for this man and all she could receive from him was ‘ignorance’ and ‘negligence’.”

Women don’t need to suffer through the change of life right?

My heart goes out to the countless millions of women who suffered through things like this who were dismissed by men as just being ‘emotional’. 100% of women experience menopause, from anxiety and low mood to lack of confidence and worries, the menopause can be a roller-coaster of emotions.

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Menopause is often associated with weight gain, fatigue, low sex drive and sleep disturbances. These changes often lead women to not to feel normal. While their husbands have the same sex drive these women struggle with post menopause effects. Menopause libido is a grave concern for certain women. Metabolic shifts caused by the low estrogen levels, shift fat storage from lower body to belly, resulting in the menopausal belly fat that is a problem for so many post-menopausal women. During menopause hormones are on their decline naturally, estrogen starts going a little bit quicker than testosterone, and so an increase in testosterone sometimes is linked, depending on how it’s being metabolized by the body, with hair loss. Their weight gain and hair fall are difficult to deal with.

Flashes, depression, unresponsive weight gain, brain fog, memory lapses, weight gain, hair loss, etc you think everything is so normal right? Menopause is no joke. These things take a toll on their confidence. They are ageing and facing these issues too it is a complete mess for them. I remember this woman saying “I didn’t feel good to be a woman at that point of time”. Back then she had these thoughts because she did not get the required attention during her menopause. And that required attention involves basic empathy and benevolence.

Do you think she deserves this because she owns a pair of ovaries and a uterus?

Women go through so much and it’s nice to have some support, just basic humanity will do. Check around,you have mothers, sisters, sisters-in-law, aunts just try to be a bit sensitive to their problems. Lifestyle changes relieve some of the symptoms, let the women undergoing menopause relax and rest during those days of heavy bleeding. Diet plays an important role during menopause. Make sure they vitamins for menopause fatigue. Vitamins for hot flashes shall also be taken. Plenty of vitamin C rich fruits and food with Iron content is a must for women going through menopause. See them a doctor if they aren’t able to go by themselves. The important thing is to recognize it for what it is and it’s a biological process.

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Let’s be a little more compassionate towards the other half of the population.


3 Comments

Shiva · July 28, 2020 at 1:31 pm

Women suffer a lot…and there is an endless description about it. Men need to understand that we too are human beings just like them. I hope that more people can see and understand what is it like to be in the shoes of an Indian Woman. Just having different reproductive organs make us no different from men. Very well written blog and hope men start to realise the mistakes they are making!

Rohit · July 28, 2020 at 4:09 pm

Noted! Ma’am 😄👏

Param Bohra · July 29, 2020 at 11:23 am

The content written was a nice blend of Menopause and unawareness of Men.
1. Menopause: Menopause is disease which is associated with bleeding and it should be taken seriously by any person, be it husband or wife.
2. Unawareness among Men: Middle age men usually(not always) avoid education and awareness. There is organic style to make healthy relationship which is regular knowledge and development.

People will realize if they are educated. By this many more uncovered problems can be solved and love will stay. I hope we need to stay together and not find reasons to separate.

However Ankita,congrats for such a nice topic. keep writing

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